The Mark Hughes Diaries

Mark Hughes is an admired ex-pro, whose playing career spanned over 20 years with over 600 league appearances and 163 league goals to his name, turning out for some of Europe`s greatest teams including Manchester United, Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Chelsea. The former Welsh international moved into management following his retirement and having managed Blackburn, Manchester City and Fulham, the 48-year-old now sits at the helm of Queens Park Rangers. Vital QPR proudly has exclusive access to his weekly diary and will give you an interesting and reflective insight into the goings on at QPR.

22nd October 2012

‘MY COACHING staff and I spent the two week break working late into the nights whilst consuming numerous bottles of the club`s pricey half time beverages with our coaching hats firmly on, deliberating over several plans on how we`d escape the unfortunate mess we`ve got ourselves into. We decided upon a master plan of drawing every game from now until our last three games, where we will beat Arsenal, Newcastle and Liverpool in order to secure safety. I`d like to see Harry Redknapp try that.

Tony Fernandes and the squad had frequently informed the press I had their full backing during the international break. Whilst I appreciated the support, there are only so many designer blazers one can send out to people. In order to alleviate some of the escalating pressure, Hilly and I had decided we`d announce to the fans that maybe our best years were behind us and we weren`t good enough anymore; I bottled it, however, and regrettably left Clint looking like a bit of a mug.

Tony, who I am now delighted to declare is finally following me on Twitter, has been talking of his desire to follow Arsenal`s footballing blueprint. Preparations are already in place to scout Under 6 leagues worldwide, whilst our ambition of building a 40 000 seater stadium will fit in nicely in order to replicate the Emirates` lifeless excuse of a footballing arena. After Sunday`s game though, I now know where we will get enough fans to fill a 40 000 seater stadium – shipping thousands of Koreans over from their homeland every other Saturday is an ingenious idea.

I`d like to finally add by declaring my disgust at the behaviour of the Leeds fan on Friday night. Our club certainly does not tolerate such conduct and the offender would certainly be asked never to return to the club. I thought it was harsh, therefore, for some fans to be shouting at me to go onto the pitch and repeat the offence on Sunday.`

Vital QPR would like to notify all readers at this point, that in no way is Mark Hughes actually associated with this website. The opinions stated above are merely for the purposes of entertainment and have absolutely no connection to the beliefs or views of the QPR manager. We hope.