Date: 11th April 2009 at 10:41am
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Vital QPR – Breaking News
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I was going to completely ignore the possibility that whomever we may fancy may not want the job anyway and just concentrate on who`s best qualified for it, but I decided to go with the list that appeared here yesterday, analyse them and then add my own choice if the name wasn`t already there.

Dennis Wise – I actually think he`d be a good choice, but reckon he`d be an even more unpopular choice than Dowie! A real bubbly character and took Millwall to a cup final, which was no mean feat. Bags of experience at all levels of the game and I actually think he might get us playing at a high tempo.

Darren Ferguson – Probably the favourite as he`s been mentioned before, but he`s not mine. Ok, so he`s taken Posh from League 2 to League 1; picked up some diamonds from lower and non-league and is challenging for another promotion, but I don`t think he`s quite ready for the challenge of taking a team to the top flight. I doubt that Posh would give him up without a fight anyway and he`s sure to be taking advice from Dad.

Gary Johnson – Has done well wherever he`s been, but he might consider a move to QPR as sideways, bearing in mind how well BC are performing. I doubt that any Championship club will willingly give up their manager to us anyway.

Paul Ince – Not for me at all. Far too early in his managerial career to take on this challenge and was a disaster at Blackburn, which I fully expected. May well progress later on, but now is not the time for him to join us and if he did, I don`t think he`d last as long as Dowie.

Paul Jewell – I was actually surprised to see his name mentioned at all to be honest. He wouldn`t stand any nonsense from our board and would want to do things his way. Chances are he wouldn`t be able to and would probably resign.

Alan Curbishley – Certainly well qualified, but I reckon he`s waiting for a top-flight club to come along. It was well documented that he didn`t approve of the goings on at West Ham, so if the interference at our club is true, he too would walk away. Pity, because he`d probably be my number one choice.

Ian Holloway – I`m a great believer that second time managerial appointments simply don`t work, which rules Ollie out. I`m a great admirer of the guy, but there`s no way he`d cope with the current regime. Would he get us out of the Championship? No.

Billy Smart with Coco the Clown as his assistant – I`d question their dress sense which we don`t want rubbing off on the players. Might please the kids but this pair reminds me of previous managerial pairings that didn`t work. We`d also have to re-paint the ground in multi-colours, which in the current climate is non-affordable.

Sven & Ulrika – I think Sven would actually be an excellent choice if we`re going down the foreign route again. Managed around the world and has a good club record. Didn`t set the world alight at international level but bags of experience and I believe he would actually relish the challenge. Likely to cost a fortune in wages though which might put the board off. Ulrika would probably keep him fit and healthy and open her own boutique within the ground and has experience with footballers.

Owen Coyle – Done a fantastic job at Burnley with a small squad and gets his team playing excellent football. Burnley always look up for the game whenever they play and that has to be down to Owen`s influence. See Gary Johnson for why he won`t join us though.

Martin Jol – I was hoping we`d go for him after he got fired from Spuds, but it was not to be. Plays constant attacking football which would please everybody and importantly, played football in England himself for more than one club, so knows his way around. No chance of getting him though with Hamburg challenging for the UEFA Cup and the German League. I think we missed out here.

Number8 & Clonmany – Ever such a slight chance there – might be a clash of personalities here, but number8`s inclination to open fire on the club owner may well detract from the football and I believe this pairing is probably not advisable.

Ant & Dec – Well they are moving to the BBC, so should we reach the Premiership, we`re likely to get good MOTD coverage. They`d have to give up that wretched fake jungle show, although that would be a blessing for everybody. Peter Ramage would be useful as an interpreter.

Flavio – Wouldn`t he just love it eh? I hope we never find out, but I do wonder how he`d have us playing, albeit in front of no supporters.

Flipper – Probably a bit past it now but excelled in the 70`s and has undoubted talent. Supporters in the Paddock though are unlikely to take kindly to their area being turned into a swimming pool and the board are unlikely to shell out on fish. Probably not a serious contender.

Shergar – Has a tendency to go missing which is not what we need. We`ve had enough of that with the team`s away performances this season, without the manager joining in. The players wouldn`t take kindly to a diet of hay and there`s likely to be a language barrier. Sorry, this contender is not for me, but it might be for some of you, which is understandable.

Gareth Ainsworth – Obviously has the club at heart and worthy of legendary status. I can see him having success at a lower league club at managerial level, but as much as I love the guy, this job is not for him right now simply due to a lack of experience. The time will come, unfortunately, when one of our forthcoming managers releases him.

Naomi Campbell – Hasn`t attended enough matches to warrant serious consideration, but would probably perform admirably if a vacancy arose at any of the food outlets.

Shearer and Dowie – I think Shearer will turn out to be a good manager one day and I believe he`ll eventually get Newcastle out of League 1 when they finally reach it. Dowie as his number two I think is a strange choice and unlikely to last very long. Dowie is worthy of another club as number one and reckon at some stage he`ll split from Shearer.

And finally my choice, which is none of the above. It actually came from a suggestion made by a Watford fan on 606 and I`ve considered him all evening. Prior to that, to be honest, I couldn`t really decide at all.

The man in question is Avram Grant.

Despite being an unpopular choice at Chelsea, he did an excellent job there including, of course, taking them to the Champions League final and League Cup final. Ok, so he lost them both, but we`d take that wouldn`t we? Following “The Special One” was always going to be difficult, but against the odds he did it admirably. Chelsea didn`t lose at home while he was in charge and they only lost 6 games in total in his 54 games in charge.

He was also at Portsmouth as Director of Football and it`s no coincidence that Pompey`s best period was when he was there. He was very successful in Israel, which probably counts for nothing, but the guy knows how to win and is a strong character. I can see him providing some much needed stability too.

I could actually see a partnership here with Dennis Wise, who incidentally would be my second choice of those that appear to be available.

So there it is, you have my choice. Sorry if you don`t like it! Here`s a warning: I correctly predicted the arrival of Stewart Houston before he was even mentioned! Sorry!

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2 Replies to “Who`s Next?”

  • Great article, SH50. I never thought of Grant – but now I do, I think I’d opt for him, too. Saying that, tho, I dont think he would come – on the other hand, he must be used to autocrats and their peculiar habits – coz he worked for Abramovich . . .

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